Monday, July 17, 2006

Some things fall apart, some things make you hold, Some things that you find, are beyond your control...

Much of my time, over the last few days, has been spent in waiting. For things to happen. Good things mostly. A phone call. A letter. A good book. A smile. A loving touch... Trivial things which go so much in to making up your happiness. And then, in between the wait and the expectation, things have gone wrong. Things so little that you won't probably pay attention, to begin with, till they assume gargantuan proportions. Makes you wonder how little you understand of life. Makes you realise how much of your entire life is a wait for things unknown.

Every day of your life, amidst the thousands of chores that you do, there's that period set apart where you are left to realise the potency of your want. Every unanswered prayer, every desire unfulfilled, every wish unrequited make you aware that this is not what IT is.

Epiphanies have a strange way of coming when you least expect them. Like the realisation that time can break your heart. Or make it whole again. Like the realisation that you are just a morsel of what you want to be. Like the realisation that this life that you breathe, is not the life the television commercial promised you.

You don't live the moment. You live in anticipation of it.

And all along the desire builds up in you like a storm threatening to break out. You feel the rush of blood and the desire in it. Feel it running amok through every vein in your body, every nerve, every sinew. And the gnawing pain that just doesn't let go. It's there like your alter-ego. Shadowy, aching, persistent.

You live in anticipation. Just so.


Blogger nobody you know said...

And one day I thought I heard your voice.I loosened the knot of my old gunny bag and filled it with your words that came filtering through the sheers of your being. But later i realised you were still talking through a screen.It waasn't your voice really.It was just another part of you.Well knowing each other in parts isn't too bad really. At least we know there's something we still don't know. yours not so truly M

11:20 AM GMT+5:30  
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2:56 AM GMT+5:30  

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